Why can words be so hurtful? I am still looking for a better answer. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me… Far from the truth this phrase from Rihanna’s song. Words do hurt more, for a longer time. A bruise disappears after a few days, but words will stay in your mind a long time and will hurt just like on the first day, every time you will think about it. I still remember how humiliated I felt when a classmate from basic school told me that my legs are ugly. Yeap, I don’t have gazelle legs, but it was still hurtful.
Having in mind the yin and yang of our nowadays digital life, it seems relevant to explore what science says about emotional pain. People are social beings. We are living in interdependence. As physical pain sends us the signal to run to survive, so loneliness, for example, induces anxiety and fear of abandonment. When you are told day by day that you are just a disappointment, the emotional pain of these words is as great as the pain caused by sticks and stones. There are studies that have shown that verbal abuse during childhood changes the structure of the brain. Just because you can not see the wounds caused by words does not mean they do not exist. Nobody tells you when you just broke your leg to get over it, but if you go through a breakup, everybody advises to … get over it. How wonderful it would be if there was a pill against emotional pain. There is a study by C. Nathan Dewall, a social psychology professor at the University of Kentucky, which shows that acetaminophen (exactly, the substance we take for fever or pain) significantly decreases the feelings of rejection or exclusion. So, there is hope 🙂
Words have caused most wars in the world. You can save many situations if you know to use the right words. You should never tell anyone that he/she is meaningless, it is not you who give meaning to someone! Try not to tell someone that h/she does not understand anything, you will only hurt that person, better say I want to help you understand! Words have a great impact, the scars left are hard to heal. Some people say the wounds left by words have not healed even after ten years. What kind of stone do you have to throw to leave such strenuous physical traces? Words can bring happiness, but also a lot of pain. When you say positive words, when you show love to another person, not only will you make a person happy, but you will also feel content. Words can raise a person, but they can also break him down. Everyone has potential, it is only up to you to create happiness or to be an executioner. Words have the greatest power. It takes more than good thoughts and deeds to build beautiful people. Soothing, encouraging, confidence-building words give the energy needed to fight a problem or a situation. Our words have a great impact on those around us. Let’s choose them carefully!