I loved my husband beyond reason. I loved him so much that I completely forgot that I should love myself as well. You’re gonna laugh, but I still love him. I love him for how he once was (or I thought he was). I love him for the strength of my love for him, although the farther he is, the more I love him now. I actually left him because of love. The forgotten love for myself. 
Odd thing, but I learned over the years that I have to love myself before loving someone else. Unfortunately,  I only started implementing this mantra after the divorce. What I wasn’t aware of when I was looking for my wedding dress, is that this living together stuff should be based on respect, common values, communication and, of course, the chemistry between those involved. Well, now I know, but a bit too late. I also know something else now: the divorce will be directly proportional to the marriage. If you  insanely loved each other, the divorce will be a total agony.

It will be damn difficult to adapt to the new idea of family, you and your child/children. You will have to readjust your thoughts, fears, budget, home, friends (here it might become spectacular, it deserves a whole new article), program, job … You will still fill in the status in documents as married countless times, and then ask for a new form to check the divorced box. Sometimes you will have the strange feeling that the world has been avoiding you since your status changed. You will run into bureaucracy in almost everything related to your child and suddenly, the presence of the father or his consent seem to be necessary just everywhere.

Obviously, you will never divorce, but be prepared though, the statistics don’t look too positive. More than half of my daughter’s classmates have divorced parents! I read dozens of articles claiming that the institution of marriage is obsolete. It looks like it’s going to be just one big messy world. I was married, I know how it is, right now I would say never again. I know, never say never.

Marriage changes you, no matter how hard you try not to. You will compromise, if you think otherwise, you urgently need a reality check. You will change and he will change, but … he will not change you and you will not change him. People don’t change unless they want it themselves. If it will all just start from the physical attraction, it will be a lost cause from the beginning.

Divorce is a trauma. It will be a wound that will heal damn hard. If there are children involved, it’s even more complicated. Think that you will be in touch with your ex, practically all your life, willingly or unwillingly. And it won’t always be great. His new relationship will annoy you as much as it will eat him alive who makes you happy and why, even though you don’t want each other back, not even for a second.

If things are starting to be shaky between you two, do your utmost best to fix it, don’t think it will work just by itself. Divorce will consume money, time, you mental health, to which you can add exaggerated doses of despair, insults, pride and so much more. But just in case you will divorce, believe me, you will not die, you will most probably reborn 🙂 In the end, you will adjust to a new life and perhaps discover that single life after marriage is not that bad at all!