In today’s fast-paced, hyperconnected world, the concept of a “balanced lifestyle” has become both an aspiration and a necessity. Well, let’s be real—modern life resembles juggling fire swords while balancing on a unicycle along a tightrope… over an abyss of emails. You get it now?
Amongst work deadlines, relationships, exercise, mental wellbeing, attempting to hydrate, and keeping your hormones sane, seeing “balance” become a reality feels like searching for a mythical place—something between discovering Atlantis and not killing your houseplants.
But this is where I put an emphasis on: equilibrium isn’t being able to do everything right. It’s being able to not get lost in the turmoil or just to not lose your shit. Fortunately, a couple of pretty smart psychologists and philosophers have left us breadcrumbs along the road to a more joyful existence.
Welcome to the Mess (Thanks, Carl Jung)
The great psychologist Carl Jung basically said: “You’re a beautiful, complicated mess—and that’s okay.” He believed real happiness comes from accepting all parts of yourself, even the ones that binge-watch Netflix instead of meditating.
He called this process individuation, which is just a fancy word for becoming your true self. So instead of obsessing over “balance” as some perfect pie chart, try seeing it as an ongoing dance between your responsibilities, your needs, and your guilty pleasures (yes, even that 11pm cookie or glass of rosé).
Therefore, I decided: I am a beautiful mess, and I accept myself as such 😉
Maslow’s pyramid: not just for psychology students
You may have learned about Abraham Maslow in high school psychology class—the guy with the triangle. Abraham said we need to handle our basics (sleep, food, safety) first before we get to good stuff like self-esteem and finding meaning in life.
Translation: If you’re skipping lunch, glued to your laptop (guilty!), and running on three hours of sleep, you’re not climbing any pyramid, you’re crawling through quicksand. Start by meeting your basic needs. Then go for the soul stuff.
Noted?
Aristotelian Tip: Don’t Overdo It With
Good old Aristotle—ancient Greek thinker and unofficial life coach—believed that virtue was in the middle. Too much work? Burnout. Too little work? Boredom. Too much wine? You know where this goes from here.
His Doctrine of the Mean basically tells us: moderation is sexy. Want a balanced lifestyle? Find the sweet spot—not the extreme. (Note: This does not apply to cheese. Aristotle never said anything about cheese.)
Modern Wisdom: PERMA, Baby
Martin Seligman, the cheerful grandpa of Positive Psychology, came up with the PERMA model:
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Positive emotion through mindfulness and gratitude.
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Engagement by doing activities that create “flow” (a term coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi).
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Relationships that are nurturing and supportive.
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Meaning through purposeful work or service.
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Accomplishment via setting and achieving personal goals.
If your life is all to-do lists and no joy, or all Netflix and no direction, PERMA’s your reminder to mix it up. Call a friend. Set a goal. Do something that feels meaningful—like finally organizing your sock drawer (okay, maybe more meaningful than that).
Tip (if you’re curious about PERMA): There’s a free course on Coursera from Yale University called The Science of Well-Being. It’s surprisingly fun, super insightful, and yes—totally free. You can check it out here.
Existential Realness: Viktor Frankl’s Hardcore Wisdom
Viktor Frankl survived a concentration camp, so when he says finding meaning can get you through anything, we should probably listen.
In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, he writes: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” That’s deep. It also means balance isn’t about controlling everything—it’s about choosing how we show up, even when life throws its wild curveballs (or flaming swords as mentioned).
So, How Do You Actually Do This?
Let’s bring it down to earth with some real-life moves:
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Do a Weekly “Life Check-In” or Audit Your Life
Sit down, grab coffee, and ask yourself: Am I burnt out? Ignored? Bored? Floating in a sea of to-do lists? Then adjust. (Also, PERMA check) -
Stop Saying Yes to Everything (Boundaries, remember?)
You’re not a robot. Or Beyoncé. Learn to say no without guilt. -
Move Your Body, But Make It Fun
If you hate running, don’t run. Dance in your kitchen. Try yoga. Wrestle your cat. Whatever makes you smile and sweat. -
Let Go of Perfect Balance
Some days you’ll be a productivity ninja. Other days, you’ll cry into your coffee. Both are valid. Balance over time, not in every moment. -
Laugh More
Life’s hard. Laughter makes it softer. Watch something silly, joke with friends, or just laugh at your own weirdness (highly recommended).
Final Thoughts: You’re Doing Better Than You Think (I know I do!)
The truth is, balance isn’t a final destination—it’s like brushing your teeth. You do it daily, it gets messy sometimes, you spill it over your pajamas and if you skip a day, the world doesn’t end.
So breathe. Be kind to yourself. You don’t have to do all the things. Just the ones that help you feel like you. The rest? Can wait until tomorrow.