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Existentialism

Where Do We Go When We Die?

I never used to think too much about death, just slightly knowing that I am afraid of it. Sure, I’d heard the theories – heaven, reincarnation, energy never dying – but it all felt far away.  Before, death was just a word. Distant. Philosophical. Something that happened to other people, in other lifetimes.

The love of my life died, and with him,  a part of me. Nothing made sense anymore. The world kept spinning, absurdly normal, while I stood still, blinking in disbelief. People asked me if I was okay. I nodded. But inside, everything had shattered.

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Existentialism

39, a Tumor, and the Truth About Life

“A what?”

“A tumor”

“A tumor as in the cancer kind of stuff? The one that can flip you from alive to dead in the blink of an eye? You’re kidding me, right?”

The day I was told I had a tumor was the most eye-opening day of my life. You think you’ll handle news like that with strength, to stay positive, be brave. But then your mind takes off on its own, making connections you never imagined.. And suddenly, the question crashes into you like a freight train: What if I’m going to die?  Read more

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Existentialism

What other stuff the Dutch discovered?

Long before the Netherlands was synonym with tulips, windmills, cheese markets, wooden shoes, canals of Amsterdam, masterpieces of Old Masters, Delft Blue earthenware, innovative water-management, millions of bicycles, and happy children, the Dutch were seafarers, explorers, and conquerors. This small country it’s packed with world-famous discoveries and inventions. Let’s see! Read more

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Existentialism

The joy of adulthood

I think the best sentence of my adulthood is “Yeah, I am not going to do that!” Last months the coffee was keeping me alive. Switching between a full-time job and full-time mother, from trying to be a good friend (failing big time most of the times lately) to a little bit of paint here, a little laminate there, sucked all my time. RIP photography course, piano lessons and holiday plans. I admit I am one of the worst planners ever. I make shopping lists and I get to the grocery store without the damn lists, I download budget apps and still I get the “oh shit I forgot to pay the bloody speed fine”. Read more

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Existentialism

Create your own heaven!

Create your own heaven! that’s what my grandmother used to tell me. She sat on the edge of the bed in the room near the entrance, the room with the sunniest mornings, the room of my childhood bedtime stories, with the candle lit all the time and the jars with fleshy pieces of aloe in the full process of maceration. I took the powder from the shelf, opened it and looked fascinated at the fine texture of the compact powder. It’s as old as forever, she told me, and every gentle wrinkle of hers smiled at me. She was the gentlest woman in my entire world.

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Photo: Pinterest
Existentialism

Hurtful words

Why can words be so hurtful? I am still looking for a better answer. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me… Far from the truth this phrase from Rihanna’s song. Words do hurt more, for a longer time. A bruise disappears after a few days, but words will stay in your mind a long time and will hurt just like on the first day, every time you will think about it. I still remember how humiliated I felt when a classmate from basic school told me that my legs are ugly. Yeap, I don’t have gazelle legs, but it was still hurtful. Read more

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