There comes a time in every woman’s life when she hits a crossroads. A moment when she reflects on the failed relationships, the endless rounds of uninspiring dates, the frustrated exes, and the marriages that were never fully spoken aloud. It’s not a checklist, though I do know people who keep one, a list long enough to rival a fasting day. Honestly, I’m not sure whether it’s better to be the one making the list or the one stuck on it (surprise, you and your best friend, of course!). But let’s skip the details on that one.

Looking for jobs (yes, I’m currently jobless) and with this extra time on my hands, I’ve had a massive revelation: I am done washing anyone’s underwear. Inside or outside of a relationship. Ever again. Period. But, then again, we all know the rule: never say never.

Have you noticed how often the concept of “forever” in a relationship can be torn apart by betrayal or a few too many drinks followed by some regrettable violence (which is anything but domestic)? It’s almost as if couples, in their blissful naivety, don’t realize that when they say “I do” they are not signing up to be each other’s unpaid personal assistant or emotional servant.

During wedding vows, you watch your partner, sweaty with excitement and maybe a little too much anticipation, as he’s reminded to love his bride as he loves himself. As for the bride? She’s told to obey her husband. Really? Eye roll, anyone?

Then there’s the doctrine from Romans 7:2-3, which holds marriage as a sacred bond broken only by death. In theory, if you’ve had a divorce (and, let’s be real, aren’t about to let go of your family, just the husband), your only options are: wait for your ex to die, stay single forever, or, drum roll please… become a mistress. I mean, if you’re not looking to have your ex bite the dust (especially since he’s the father of your child), and you definitely have no desire to join the nunnery, then mistress it is, right?

Let’s not forget: the most desired women in history weren’t just wives. They were mistresses. The courtesans, the beautiful and captivating women who ruled kings and their countries in times long gone by, dressed in lace and brocade. Kings had open relationships (gasp, sound familiar?), and the queen knew it. The courtesan knew it. Yet, the world was perfectly content with this arrangement. Fast forward to today: the queen is now the wife, and the courtesan has become… well, the mistress.

After years of washing socks and underwear like a real queen, you start to think that maybe, just maybe, being a modern courtesan doesn’t sound so bad. Relationships today are more complicated than ever. For example: He, divorced. She, also divorced. They decide not to marry but have a child together and enter into an “open relationship.” She’s free to have a lover, and he has his own mistress. She even invites her lover over for a beer with her partner; he declares himself satisfied, the lover seems to be a good guy, and they all get along just fine. They exchange phone numbers, you never know when the semicircle partner might have to call the lover to inform him that their common girlfriend cannot come to the date due to a terrible cold. It’s a semicircle of freedom, understanding, and shared responsibilities.

You have to admire the honesty. But let’s be real: who’s more hypocritical? The person cheating behind their partner’s back, pretending everything’s fine, or the ones in this open arrangement? In fairness, it requires a certain level of generosity and emotional intelligence to share so openly. As for me? I’m terrible at sharing.

But let’s talk about the mistress for a moment. Is it just a phase? A once-in-a-lifetime experience? They say that everyone should try it at least once. Historically, famous mistresses like Madame de Pompadour (and Louis XV), Marilyn Monroe (and JFK), the persistent mistress eventually becoming wife, Camilla Parker Bowles (and Prince Charles), Monica Lewinsky (and Bill Clinton), Countess Walewska (and Napoleon), Elena Lupescu (and King Carol),  and Maria Obrenovici (and Alexandru Ioan Cuza) have carved their names into history. Most wives would probably burn their rivals at the stake if they could, but let’s be honest—mistresses, while often vilified, always remain somewhat… desirable.

‘Portrait of Madame de Pompadour’ 1756 de François Boucher

In the end, there’s something undeniably fascinating about being single, with all its complexity, mystery, and contradictions. Love, marriage, and everything in between—it’s all a lot messier than we care to admit. So, here’s to embracing the chaos, the humor, and the wild unpredictability of relationships. Because, in the end, single life? It’s kind of the most interesting thing of all.

The good news: the mistress will (in most cases) send back home the wonderful lover. Nobody wants a cheating man in the long run!